Rubbish..

For all of you Potter fans out there.. It is crazy here. No lie. The other day we reached capacity at 9 am.. yep we had to turn people away from the park AN HOUR after it opened. Can you say insane? Cause I can.. ten times fast. A fruit that I have seen almost none existent in my life on those days is patience. I build up hatred for people that get irritated at the expensiveness of bottled drinks, for people who think they can sneak away with a handful of dirty ice from my drink cooler (I'm sorry if you want E. coli go right ahead..) and the language barriers and even more the people who repeat the same thing over and over just increasing volume thinking that maybe if they scream I will understand.. I won't.

But is it any surprise that when you pray for God to cultivate patience in y0ur life he is going to put you in situations that will try your patience. My biggest prayer is that I might be more like Jesus. In the Praying Life book he talks about praying to be more like Jesus. Just think about it, what parent, if they have a decent kid, wouldn't look at a kid that's a trouble maker and say "that kid should just try to be more like my kid" problem solved. God delights in that prayer, he wants everyone to see His son as the ultimate role model.

Being here is everything but glamorous but it is making me keenly aware of my heart. I have been pursued my entire life by a Savior who is crazy about me. There is a song that I have begun to listen to by Brooke Fraser called Hymn it goes; "If two distant lines are scattered and I sail to farthest seas. Would you find and fervent gather, till I only dwell in Thee. If I flee from greenest pastures, would you leave to follow me? Forfeit glory to come after till I only dwell in Thee. If my heart has one ambition, if my soul one goal to seek. This my solitary vision till I only dwell in Thee, that I only dwell in the." My Savior gave up everything just that I might be saved. That I could have the opportunity to know him. I count everything as rubbish apart from Him, including life itself. Sure puts my inability to be patient into perspective.

My prayer is that I can look at these approaching weeks with as much joy and excitement as I did I did in the beginning. That I really finish hard and just truly run to the cross at the first sign of impatience.

Like a Child at Home.

The verses that we have been studying this week have been focused on sonship. How because of Christ I am now counted in His family. There is a song that I sang in the USI chamber choir that ended with these words; "No more a stranger or a guest, but like a child at home." I am not a stranger to Christ's love, and I haven't ever been really. I have however lived with a guest mentality. I don't approach God with a child's heart. I for a long time have had to get things in order before going to Him in prayer. What's more is that I have had that "deserving" spirit. Like I deserved special treatment for having my life in order. I am a child of his. I play in His house. I am reckless, I seldom have my toys picked up. I am needy in every possible way. In my mess and craziness God wants me to come to Him. He doesn't say let the orderly come to me, or let the adult with the schedule come to me, but let the little children. I don't have my life figured out.. I don't know what I'm doing the rest of the afternoon. What I am learning He delights in is a heart that comes to Him in the Middle of the mess. In the middle of my hectic, complaining, and needlessly weary heart He finds delight. I think my biggest prayer request is o actually cry out to my Savior like that. Something that comes to mind when I think about it is this part in the first Narnia movie where the Mrs. Beaver is approaching Aslan and she starts smoothing her fur. her husband quickly says something like you look lovely. That is what I do. I smooth out the roughness of my life instead of letting God tell me I am lovely exactly the way I am. That I would see and truly believe the love of Christ not only covers me spiritually but physically. In the words of David Crowder, "You make everything glorious, what does that make me?"