I think this whole process has masked me into allowing myself to become increasingly numb. My world has been rocked and I smile and say I'm fine. People listen to my "back-up-plans" and my "plan-b's" with kind listening ears, others tell me to just pick a future like its a breakfast cereal.. its not, by the way.
It terrifies me that I would pick something that I might end up hating. I have seen that and lived it, I don't want that life. I want to love whatever I am doing, I want to inspire, I basically want to be the opposite of what I am now. The truth is I won't show anyone the love of my Savior if I am miserable with where He put me.
Many people remember the verse Philippians 4:13 "I can do everything through Him who gives me strength." but forget easily that just a few short verses prior it says "that I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances." That is my struggle. I forget while pleading for God to provide water.. He is teaching me to thirst for Him.
